Palme d’Or award for three-hour lesbian love affair

Director Abdellatif Kechiche (Left), Adele Exarchopoulos (Center), and Lea Seydoux (Right)

Daily Mail

The prestigious Palme d’Or award at the Cannes Film Festival was last night awarded to a steamy three-hour movie about a lesbian love affair.

‘Blue Is the Warmest Colour’ took the prize for the best film from a jury led by Steven Spielberg and Nicole Kidman.

One scene includes a no-holds-barred twelve minute erotic sex scene between two women, played by Lea Seydoux and Adele Exarchopoulos, that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.

The naked women writhed, licked and explored every intimate inch of each others bodies.

During the gala the audience sat in silence and craned their necks as if to get a better view of the steamy scenes unfolding in plain sight on the huge screen.

It’s the most sensational win at Cannes in years.

Of course it is not really pornography because, well, it was played at Cannes and only respectable films would be played at Cannes. They would never play a lesbian sex film which “leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination” and has a scene depicting “erotic impressive scissoring”. Such a film would most certainly not have the most sensational win in years and be given the prestigious Palme d’Or award. Do not be ridiculous. *Sigh*

This is a 3 hour propaganda film with 12 minutes of explicit lesbian sex used to draw in heterosexual men. You see, the Liberals know how to use propaganda. Why put up posters of ‘workers of the world unite’ or other Soviet style nonsense when you can have movies of women having sex? Which is more likely to attract people and, at the same time, break down their barriers to your cause? Hitler, Stalin, and Mao had it all wrong, you see. They did not need to use brute force to get what they want. All Hitler needed to do was have his government make a bunch of sex videos with “Aryan” women, play them in theaters, and have the women yell “Heil Hitler” during sex.

“The Gospels and the Communist Manifesto are on the wane; the world’s future lies in the power of Coca-Cola and pornography.”

Nicolás Gómez Dávila

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